The Blogs of TSP
THE SISTER PROJECT is a blog network: a blog of interrelated sister blogs. We are starting with a small family; soon there will be more sisters, perhaps including some of you. Here’s our family tree so far, with one caveat: Though there are a lot of Smiths in the cast, none of them is related, at 
least not genetically. SHE SAID, SHE SAID She Said, She Said is both sides of the sister story. A digital dual memoir by TSP’s oldest sisters, Marion Roach Smith (left), 53, with occasional outbursts by Margaret Roach, 55, it celebrates alternate realities, tenderly and yet bluntly illustrating the universal truth that no two siblings experience anything the same way. How to explain that truth? Nature? Nurture? It’s a little of both and also neither. And here, under one virtual “cover,” is what that looks like. Marion, a writing teacher, radio columnist and author, and Margaret, former editorial director of Martha Stewart Living turned blogger, don’t look, act or talk alike. Want to listen in, and watch what happens?
HEY, LITTLE SISTER In Hey Little Sister, as in life, Paige Smith Orloff, multitasks: She is a writer and a cook, a wife and a mother…an only child faced with the charge of helping her daughter to be a good sister to Paige’s son. “I’m not always sure I know how to do that, or even what it means,” she says. “If I don’t know what a sister’s supposed to do or be, how in the world can I help her learn?” Paige, 42, may not have biological sisters, but she has picked up some soul sisters along the way, throughout a life that’s taken her from New York, to Hollywood, and now (to the amusement of all who know her) to a farm in the Hudson Valley of New York State (just up the road from Margaret Roach, not far from Marion Roach Smith, and near where Anastasia Smith grew up). “My sisters-by-choice are her companions in the kitchen and in cahoots,” she says. “Whether over cocktails, coffee or broadband connection, they keep me honest, providing patient company as I try to understand my life as a person, a parent, and in my own way, a sister.” Meet Paige.
CLAIMING SISTERHOOD Anastasia Smith, 24, a recent college graduate now pursuing her MFA in creative writing, is the face of Claiming Sisterhood, exploring the two definitions of that tricky verb claim: “to take it as the rightful owner,” and also “to assert it in the face of possible contradiction.” A younger sister to a brother, Anastasia is setting out to find and claim sisterhood on her own terms, “equipped,” she says, “with enough brains and know-how from a liberal-arts institution to connect the dots on the most random of topics, and with no pressing domestic plans on the horizon (i.e., homeownership, husbands, Huggies).” For Anastasia, sisterhood is always linked to feminism—“perhaps simply because sisterhood and feminism are both gendered terms—though also because I think that a search for sisterhood, at its base, is a negotiation of women’s connection to a collective female identity.” She’s not claiming “to have a treasure map (yet) for the intangible meaning in sisterhood (or feminism),” but through this blog she is “exploring the facets of sisterhood, from identity politics to pop-culture.” Explore with her.
ASTROLOGY: THE THIRD HOUSE, by Sheilaa Hite: an exploration of the astrology of relationship, especially that of us as women and as siblings. Sheilaa kicked off 2009 with a look at the year numerologically, astrologically–and by telling her own sister story. Read her first installments here.
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First time here? Here's the idea: TSP is a network of blogs about the many facets of the word sister, and the concept of sisterhood. A sisterhood of sister blogs, you could say. Whatever sister means to you, from identical twin to sister-in-law (or in-friendship or in-feminism), we’ll make room to listen in about it or express it on TSP. Like the slogan up top says, “Don’t you have something to say to your sister?” We've got galleries of art and literature by and about sisters, and a Sisterpedia of sisterly trivia...but now we're getting ahead of ourselves. The quick study: 
As the suffix of its name suggests, 
No surprise, really, that sisterhood, often life’s longest relationship and always one of its most important, has been the Muse for so much creative self-expression by women, and also by men. 
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve started a new business here in, of all places, Vermont, as an image consultant and am doing a seminar with a group of women on the 4th. It’s all about looking and feeling great without spending a lot of dough. I don’t have a sister but you’ve always made me feel like one!
Yo, Leenie:
Being like a sister to a woman who is not one’s biological kin is all about choosing to love. We make family. I’ve always found it interesting that we accept that in marriage – he’s not kin, after all, but chosen – and yet not in friendship. You’re my sister, sister, because we say it’s so. Please keep visiting and talking about the sisterhood.
I couldn’t agree more with your comment, Marion, “you’re my sister, sister because we say it’s so.” My dearest sisters are the women I’ve chosen to love (although my sib sisters are wonderful too)…and their presence in my life is a blessing beyond compare!
Welcome, Jane Ann. I suspect Marion will be comin’ round any minute to say hello, but meantime I wanted to say thank you for joining us.
Welcome, Jane Ann. Years ago for my husband’s birthday I invited a small group to a celebration during which one blood family member took me aside and said, “I thought it was just supposed to be ‘family,’ ” to which I replied, “It is,” nodding toward our very closest friends. The one raising the issue has a huge blood family into which I have married, while when I married, I bought only my sister into the brood, our parents both being only children. I’ve always thought of that instant at the birthday as a real moment of identification and acceptance for both me and the family member who was raising the issue: we both instantly understood the other’s definition of “family,” and immediately blended those definitions into one idea of acceptance.
wow! I am loving this site…though feeling a little scared to make too much mention of my own sister relationships. I have one blood sister and so many others with which I have shared a mutual choosing… I often feel conflicted about the vastly different relationships that I have with these people. Blood sister relationships are so much more complicated to me. I seem to forever step in ‘it’ with her, almost always inadvertently but always in a way I never do with my chosen sisters. I am looking forward to reading this blog…and to maybe finding that this is more normal than I think and learning from all types of sisters. great idea for a blog….
Welcome, Rochelle. Why does your comment sound so familiar to me? :) I think I always step in “it” too, so please feel free here; no ceremony or perfection required/expected. See you soon again.
Hi, Rochelle: What a fabulous distinction. And ready-made for exploration, the idea that stepping in “it” appears to be a non-optional (required?) role of blood that we may opt to avoid with the sisters we choose. Please do come back and help us explore this fascinating concept.
My biological family, which is made up of sister and father, who live together, and me, is in the midst of a huge and strange journey. Hospice has been called in to assist my father; my 62 year old sister had a stroke last year; I just had a shocking physical crisis–my spinal cord kind of gave up and I had emergency surgery last week. I don’t know when I’ll be walking again.
This backstory is all to say that I have fabulous annointed sisters who have showered me with love, visits, flowers, shoulders to cry on, anything and everything. I do not hear from my blood sister at all. There is much history to this, and she has her side, but it hurts hurts hurts, especially since my father’s life is tenuous.
I can’t be the only woman out there who has had a life long lack of relationship with my blood sister while collecting an entire tribe of sisters that do not share my blood line.
Welcome, Sandi: You are not the only woman out there whose “anointed” (love that word there) sisters nourish what the blood sister seems only to drain.
Rochelle, above, seems to be wondering about this, too, and we receive many “off the record” comments via email from people who are not yet ready to explore this in a public venue.
But let’s explore it. What would you say are the top three emotional things you expected to get from your sister, and where did you get those expectations?
Join in here, sisters.
Love the overall concept. Rock on.
Welcome, Renovation Therapy. Thanks for the encouragement…much appreciated. See you soon again.
Three things I imagine that all my women friends share with their sisters that I can’t make happen:
Sense of humor and shared memories about the early years Good hearted laughs about our parents’ foibles
Bonding when parents are acting strange; in a crisis; growing older; resisting help, sharing the emotional as well as physical tasks required to deal with parents who might have emotional problems. Perhaps one is stronger at this and one of us is stronger at more practical tasks. But growing closer through the sharing.
Actualizing the idiom: blood is thicker than water-That one has turned out to be a genuine falsehood for me and my sister.
Hello, Sandi: And welcome back. This is fascinating. The separateness that sisterhood can impose seems so counter-intuitive, and yet we hear it all the time. That there are differing “sisterhoods” is no surprise, however disappointing. What we do to achieve sisterhood is a story worth telling, don’t you agree? But how to start? I’m giving memoir prompts here. http://thesisterproject.com/roach/category/by-marion/on-writing-memoir/ I wonder if some of these might help.
Hi Marion,
My sister had red hair and so do I. She died of colon cancer in October and I miss her terribly. Because of my red hair, her red hair and my daughter’s red hair, I am creating a book about redheads. I have a brand new blog http://annelindsayphotography.blogspot.com/ and will have a new website in about a month. I am working on a book about redheads. I have your book, The Roots of Desire, and I would like to know if I can let people know about your book. I hope my sister has found other redheads in heaven because I want to find more of them on earth.
Thanks Marion,
Anne
Welcome, Anne. Marion (who has my father’s red hair, which I do not) is away today, but she will check back in shortly. Thank you, meantime, for this beautiful comment and for the link to your blog. I am sure it is fine to mention Marion’s book or show a cover or whatever, yes. Thank you for asking ahead. See you soon again…and as I said, when Marion returns I will send her right here to say hello.
Hi, Anne. Welcome. Such a good project to create. Good luck with it, and please do let people know about my book, “The Roots of Desire,” as well as the redhead link here at TSP. http://thesisterproject.com/roach/category/sisterhood-of-redheads/ Please come back soon.
Hello Margaret and Marion,
This site is wonderful!
We are four sisters and I’ll pass this on!
Amy
Welcome, Amy, and hope that you are well. Thank you for the nice words; I will alert Marion of your visit, too.
my blog is all about sisterhood. you can take out time to visit and let me know if it represents.
i love your concept
Welcome, Oluola, and thanks for sharing your sisterhood blog (and also thank you for the good words). See you soon again.
I love this site. It is so different!
Welcome, Erica. Well, sisterhood in all its forms and meanings has many different incarnations, too, so perhaps that’s why the TSP network is this way. Thanks for your encouragement, and come again soon…and bring your “sisters”. :)
My sister died in her sleep on may27, 2009. Her name was Lorie and I miss her very much. I would like to speak to her, but since I can’t I thought this site might be comforting.
My sister was not sick, we do not know why she died. It does not look like suicide or murder. We may have to wait 6 to 12 weeks to find out why.
Welcome, Stephanie. Oh, dear; such a loss. Have you visited our other posts where women experiencing the loss of a sister have shared about it:
How making a list might help
Marilyn’s story of losing Iris
Joely’s list that helped with loss
Hope these are a comfort. Thank you for joining us.
Marion, Margaret, Paige, Anastasia, Sheilaa:
Thank you so much for creating this wonderful site!
This is truly the first time I have felt welcome in a sisterhood community.
Feminists groups I have dabbled in have felt too angry and man-hating.
The professional women groups I have tried to join have been so full, ironically, of what I call “Rooster Energy” and competitiveness, that they felt more like a gladiator arena than a sisterhood. (Always trying to demonstrate superiority and dominance, always something to prove.)
I have desired for so long to find a sisterhood that has warmth and heart , that is about tolerance and understanding instead of judgment, about love instead of hate, about feelings, not just ideas, that is about exploration and discovery, and that is about supporting, empowering and enjoying one another.
I think I have finally found it here.
Looking forward to participating in the growth of this Sisterhood. :-)
Welcome, Maluvia, and wow, that’s about the nicest compliment ever. We are so happy that you feel comfortable, and hope you will bring your sisters along for the ride. Holler if we can help you find anything, or just to holler in general, like sisters do. :)
I’m one of 5 sisters (no brothers) and our theme song was “we are family”—tells you how old we are…anyway, thanks for the site…my other website is http://www.brickhousemama2.blogspot.com can you tell a Lionel Richie fan? My sisters and I are close though not geographically–it’s fun to see a site devoted to sisterhood.
Welcome, Kaydee. Thanks for the good words, and don’t worry about age here (I bet I have you beat by a few hundred). :) See you soon again. Bring the family.
How do I connect with you sisters? I am Patty Sadallah, President and Founder of the Redwood Sisterhood. My blog is called Intertwining Roots for Strength and Growth and can be found http://pattysadallah.blogspot.com/. And my website is http://www.redwoodsisterhood.com.
I would love your sisters to learn about the opportunities of our Sisterhood as well.
Thanks,
Patty Sadallah
(877) 733-7471
Welcome, Patty. We are at out contact email, thesisterproject at gmail dot com. Thanks for your interest. Tell us more.
Marian- My sisters (two) and I have lived a largely Albany 9, NY life. Mom and Dad continue to call the redwood and slate ranch on the top of the Fullerton St. home. Decidedly detached from often customary eighth decade transitions that mark closure of middle chapter plots, they remain firmly rooted in #44. The only concession to time passage is writing 12209 after Albany, NY on their licked stamped white envelope housing birthday cards for grandchildren or donations to Cornell Alumni interests. I’d like to write more, but please…please tell me how one acquires a seat in your Upcoming Writing What You Know wed. evening series? Is Knowledge Network the only way in, can I bring my own chair? Any suggetions to gain entry to your class would be most appreciated. Looking forward and thank you- Sue Burke Melnikoff
Hi, Sue. So glad to know of someone near enough to take the course. It is taught at the Arts Center, listed here. I look forward to meeting you.
Thanks, Marion. I’m registered and look forward to meeting you too.
Sue
The Sister Project is so refreshing, so safe, so…home. I adore it. It feels like an enormous, ongoing scrapbooking, journaling adventure that never has to end…our own creative neverland! That’s what I’m talking about!!!! My kind of fun. Great inspiration!
Hi Marion!! I just wanted to let you know that I read a post on the following blog: http://runningspoon.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-it-means-to-be-redhead.html and decided that I had to read your book! I immediately ordered it online and can’t wait until it arrives! I am currently doing an English essay on what it means to be a red-head and was online doing some research when I found her blog. I’m happy to see you have one too! I’ll be sure to follow along…
Thanks! :)
Welcome, Cat. I will alert Marion to your comment, but just wanted to say it’s nice to see you here, and thanks for the nice words.
Hi, Cat. And welcome to TSP, you red-headed sister, you (as I see on your site; yippeeeee). Thanks so much. I hope you love the book. Live your color, Cat, and you’ll never go wrong. And do see the other redhead posts http://thesisterproject.com/roach/category/sisterhood-of-redheads/ here. Enjoy.
We want to be a part of this fabulous sisterhood! How do we do that? We celebrate sisterhood through a vintage flea market in Washington State. Our mother is the original Funky Junk Sister-she started it all and now all of our fellow junque vendors are part of our Funky Junk Sisterhood! We do have a few Funky Junk Brothers too!
Please let us in the family!
Linda & Dixie
The Funky Junk Sisters
Welcome, Funky Junk Sisters. So nice to “meet” you (as we like funky junk as well). Can’t wait to have a tour around your world and feel free to email us anytime with ideas at thesisterproject at gmail dot com. Now off to your site for a look… :)
I stumbled upon this website by “accident” and what a treat! So many diverse voices-strong, clear, creative, inspiring! I am going to roam around, read some articles and take it all in:)-Soraya
Welcome, Soraya. You are very kind with your praise, and we hope to see you here as a regular on TSP.