Here’s a detail that still causes me to ponder:
My mother-in-law’s final few days were spent in St. Mary’s hospital in Troy. We (me, my husband, his brother & his brother’s wife) were keeping a vigil. All four of us stayed at the hospital until late on a Saturday night and then went home to sleep because things weren’t changing. When my husband and I came back Sunday morning, she had been moved to hospice. We went into her room and a doctor came in to talk to us. I remember that my mother-in-law had an oxygen mask on and the doctor said she thought we should remove the oxygen mask because it probably wasn’t very “comfortable.” She removed the mask and a minute later my mother-in-law died.

My husband and I sat in the room just oberving his mother’s body and my recollection is that it was an incredibly peaceful moment. A half hour or so passed and my brother-in-law arrived. We told him she had passed and he came into the room to see her. After a minute or two, he said he had to leave the room because being near a dead body was too upsetting.

I believe he was entitled to respond to the situation in his own way and I have tried hard not to be judgmental about that, but it seemed consistent in that he was always overwhelmed about the continual crises that made up the final years of my in-law’s lives.

Hi, Danielle. So glad you are enjoying the memoir writing posts. Schedules are a must. I am not a cosmic writer one single bit, and though I’ll gladly take any help that comes from unseen forces, I’ve been at this long enough to know that writing begins with discipline, and that discipline is wonderfully aided by a regular schedule, even if it’s only a short period every day. Deadlines are great, which is why a dedicated writing group of people who are invested in your success is a wonderful thing to find and to nurture. But all of it comes down to the discipline of sitting in the hard chair and writing. This is such a great question, however, that I’ll riff on it in my next post. Some of those practical things. Hmmm. I had overlooked them to date in my memoir writing tips. I’ll take them on. Thanks for the prod.

Ah, The Grid. I think we’ll have to put it up on the screen for all to see. The Grid is either my Achille’s heel, my Sword of Damocles or my Super Girl stretch tights. I think it’s the latter. I have my life mapped out on a grid, on which I assign slots of time for all the things I do. Simple – or as complicated – as that. Except that everyone–and yes, I do mean everyone–teases me about it. I think I feel a post coming on.

I’m still getting used to my new work schedule, but I’m hoping that working less hours will allow me to focus more time on writing. Fingers crossed!

(Marion, I’m definitely interested in hearing about this Grid.)

That said, I’m full of words but not getting any down. Thank you, Marion & Margaret, for helping others get it done.

I sold a book last fall, due late this year, and the part I have been struggling with most in writing it is the schedule: giving it its own time in each hectic week.

I tried the “every morning from X-X o’clock, no matter what” format that so many great writing teachers advocate, but I am finding that my rhythm is actually not that at all, but more about devoting a day at a time, not a few hours.

In fact, I have done my best work in the weeks and months when I devoted at least two days in a row and part of the day before or after those each week, so a two and a half day chunk.

I need to really unwind, and ponder, and explore…and sometimes in those 3-hour sessions each morning I was just getting started, and I had booked something else afterward. I am blessed to have the luxury right now of scheduling this way, in whole days, juggling other stuff into other days; I know it’s not feasible for everyone.

On many of the full days, nothing much happens right away, but I don’t feel such pressure to hurry up and get something down. That’s why I like it better.

Marion has a whole other system, that she calls, “The Grid.” She is a master scheduler. I know she will tell you how. In fact, it’s a great idea for a whole other post. Thank you for bringing it up…I am glad to have someone to “talk” about it with. :)

Out of curiousity, because it is something I have been struggling with, do you write on any sort of schedule? How do you make yourself stick to it? I suppose deadlines help.