WRITER’S BLOCK? NONSENSE. There is no such thing. Despite the fact that writing books are chock full of time-wasting exercises with all manners and ways to get you to emerge from that supposed thing, I say nonsense to all of it since there is no such thing. Don’t believe me? Well, come along with the sisterhood of writing and we’ll change your mind.
I am firmly convinced that “writer’s block” is a phrase initially invented by someone who wanted to sell someone else some cockamamie product disguised as something designed to unblock the blocked. But in reality it was something to get you to buy something else, and keep on buying instead of writing; something invented by some devious writer who didn’t want the competition of your good work.
Then, immortalized as it has been by story, as well as no fewer than 33 film versions of blocked writers, as listed here, the concept has become so accepted that some people actually take haven under the shelter of supposedly having no more to write.
Well, it’s nonsense. Because no sister in the world would let you get away with it if you were, in fact, blocked. I know. I have a sister, we are both writers, and neither one of us has ever let the other stay blocked for more than a few moments.
What do we do?
Are you ready?
It’s diabolical.
It’s ingenious.
It’s called research.
Writer’s block melts away when you recognize that you simply do not know what to say next. In memoir writing, this is fixed by picking up the phone and doing a little research.
“Margaret?”
“Yes.”
“What was the name of the boy who rode the bus with me every day to school?”
“You mean your imaginary friend, or the real children, Marion?”
Ooooh. Nice. That got me going.
Two weeks later.
“Margaret?”
“Yes?”
“Were those blue-sashed Christmas dresses Grandma made us made from the drapes?”
“Those were Easter dresses, Marion. And Marion, that was Scarlett O’Hara who had dresses made from drapes. Not you.”
Yes, well. But there’s something to write about. And I did.
Some time later.
“Margaret, what’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?”
Stony silence, followed by the kind of inspiration that feels ever so much like an inspirational smack on the head.
As you can see, you don’t always get a direct answer. But you do get inspiration. And you move on. Because sisters make you move on. In fact, I’d say that you know you’re a sister when there is one particular person in your life who can get you to move on.
So go ask your sister. Biological, adopted, recently made. She’ll have something to say.
And write on.
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Very well written! I have a sister and I never thought to call her and ask things about the past… the present… or the future.
I am sure she would give me tons of things to write about!
Hey Suzanne. Crunchy Green Mom. Great title for yourself. Love that. Yes, people go way far out of their way when it comes to inspiration for writing which, like Dorothy’s red shoes, is on us all the time. So ask a sister. You never know just what she might say, of course, but it’s always fodder for a piece. Come back soon.
I can neither confirm nor deny anything from our childhood. Taking the Fifth from here on out.
I believe writer’s use the term “writer’s block” as an excuse not to write. ;) And when I’m stuck or need a laugh or need to check a fact I call my biological sister and she helps me out. Gotta love sisters!
Hi, Marion. This post reminded me of conversations I had with my older sisters. Because my mother died in 1959, when I was 10, I can be a little fuzzy on the details. I was trying to get some medical background that I could share with my daughter, Brigid. The crazy conflicting info I got had me telling my daughter that our medical history will just have to begin with us. I decided, this morning, to write about this. I’ll share when I’ve done it.
As for writer’s block. No way. I was glad to read that you don’t believe in it because I don’t either. I don’t have it anyway. Writer’s block makes no sense to me. Lack of time? Lack of focus? Too many things to write about? Real, real and real.
Marion,
Margaret is the best at unblocking the mind, actually she creates floods sometimes. Life has not been the same since I have known her, you are very lucky.
Margaret: What were you paying attention to all those years, sister-of-mine?
Hi, CopyStrands. Wonderful. So glad to have another sister-to-sister writing team up and running. You do gotta love sisters. Please come back soon.
Hello, Ellie: So glad to read you here. Please do share what you write. We’re waiting to read it. So glad you are not under the spell of the writer’s block myth. Absurd as it is hobbling, it has no place in our busy lives. We look forward to hearing more from you as you make your way through your tale.
Hi, Susan. I think it is fair to say that everyone who has ever met Margaret has been changed by her. I know that pitching stories back and forth all of our professional lives has benefitted me greatly, and it is a model I recommend to everyone. We can be brutal on the topic of that eternal writing question — what is this about? — asking each other to hone and prune, and get the the heart of the matter. Everyone needs someone to whom to pitch her story, and in that, there is no one better than a trusted sister, someone who is invested in your success. Please stay with us as we write on.
I’ve been reading here for awhile, commented way back when. Thanks for a unique and comfortable sisterhood. I clicked here this morning to see if Amber had won the contest, and see that she is a runner-up. Her writing astounds me.
I started writing again when I put pen to journal in a way to express grief and rage when my best friend/neighbour/mother//Sister, clung to life , we clung to her life, one heart-wrenching summer. What was a gift to her, a small token of encouragement, came back to me as the prompt to get back into myself, and begin writing, healing, and sharing with others. When I told her my rage felt like screaming under water, while wishing for peace as I listened to her children laughing in hope in the pool, and prayed out poems and tears, she replied in barely legible beauty. Scratched out while trying to regain use of her hands, that I should pin the roses of love on people and bless their souls before they’re gone, always.
It was the beginning of much for me, and my writing, and blogging has changed my life. Hers was taken not long after she recovered by a sudden brain aneurysm, and I still ache with missing her.
oops, forgot to include my site , for what it’s worth
thank you for allowing me to share my soul a bit
Hi, Deb. Welcome back to TSP, where the sisterhood is always open. Yes, Amber is a fine writer and we are proud to know her. So are you, with your phrases (above) catching the reader, slowing her down, making her think. Lovely. So good of you to bring it here. Thank you for sharing your soul a bit. Please come back and do some more of that. We value it.
Wow. Having been “blocked” I think I just need to open my mind to my sisters.
Hi, Corina. And welcome to TSP, where we do what we can to unblock the sisterhood. Yes, ask any small question of a sister — the name of your childhood neighbor’s dog, the color of that certain dress your mother wore to that wild party — and if you start there, you’ll find a world of memoir unfurls before you. And check out our other memoir tips here. Write on.
I love this post! I love writing and can usually whip up a topic from thin air. There is something to be written about EVERYWHERE! You just have to find the “inspiration”, as you put it. Back in my teaching days, I taught the very same concept to my students. Great post!
Hey there, Run DMT. Cool name. Oooh, good for you that you know that the writer’s block thing is a myth. So glad your students also benefitted from this wisdom of yours. Please come back and share some more of what you know. Hope to see you soon.
Marion: one of the endless differences between brothers & sisters regards these kind of writerly unblocking questions that you get to ask Margaret. I’m working on a book about the last four years of my mother’s life and the role reversal when adult children become their parents’ parents. Annoyed by my constant calls asking, “what year did so-and-so happen?” or “did mom really say XYZ or did I imagine that?” my brother (also a writer) made what seemed a wise, or at least adaptive suggestion—-that we schedule several formal interviews, the regular reporter/subject thing; I show up with questions at the ready and no idle chitchat; ask them; write down the answers and get out of his hair so he could go back to work. We did our first of these last week. He was wise, funny, informative and in many ways helpful. He took twice as long as the allotted time and only complained a few times about my gabbiness. Much of what felt insulting when he said it was more benign, even complimentary in an ironic sort of way, when I read it back during my transcription of notes; I was waaaaay too reactive in the moment. On the other hand…………………and of course there’s an “on the other hand” …….he announced at the git-go, and stuck to it, that he wasn’t going to speculate about anything having to do with my psychology or emotions. (He kept his word). Also, his own ability to discuss emotions was (unsurprisingly) limited. Yes, there are some hidden gems when I go through the notes with a (very) fine tooth comb. But here is my favorite: “How are brothers not the same as sisters?” Q&A. We had spent one terrible day together in the surgical waiting room at Memorial Sloan Kettering. He was petrified, far more so than I for various reasons. Jumping out of his skin. Sometimes crying, other times dashing out on some made up errand. Often hiding behind his blackberry. So, the other day, I asked him what he remembered of that day. His answer? “It was a bright, white room, right? With big windows?” Yes, it makes for an amusing paragraph or two. But does that qualify as being the cure for writer’s block? Thankfully, i don’t believe in in either —– and have my own ways out of its imaginary clutches. But I obviously wouldn’t suggest calling a sibling with a Y chromosome as the cure!
Hi, Jane. So glad to read you here again. This is fascinating. Absolutely. And a must-read for anyone writing family memoir, for anyone who lives with another person, for anyone who has a sibling. That tandem memory aspect of life must be responsible for more misunderstanding, as well as understanding, than anything else to which I can point. This is one of those written lozenges I need to put under my mental tongue and let dissolve. Thank you, sister, for such a provocative piece of material. Go get ‘em with that book of yours. We are waiting by the bookshop door. And please come back soon with more.
I love writing and have zillions of journals to prove it. I can write for courses, edit papers, and do all the right things, except write for me.
My “stumbling block”, if you will, is my audience.
When I wanted to start writing, I went to a seminar and the first rule of thumb I was given was to identify my audience and write to that particular group.
From that point, my foundation, my edge, my voice was lost. Maybe it was in the way the instructor presented his point, but it burnt on my brain and, what used to be a fluid activity for me froze.
I was completely tripped up by who my audience might be. I still am. I think I wonder more about my audience than what I might write about. In a nutshell, I still haven’t started the writing process, and it’s been years since I’ve taken that seminar.
On the other hand, you couldn’t pry me out of my journals…..some are personal; some look like this webpage; and some are collections of lists, ideas, questions, challenges, food, funny stories, sad stories, pictures….
It bothers me because I want to write and I am passionate about it, but….what gives about my audience? Frankly, at this point in my life, I could give a flying fig who they are.
So…could THAT be a block…my blessed audience? A “stumbling block”, if anything?
Hello, Heidi, and welcome to TSP. My memoir class is full to the brim with people in recovery from dumb things said to them about writing, and what that person said to you is right up there. In fact, I’m now going to put that one way up high on my new list of dumb things said to writers. That’s a showstopper, that one. Write it like a letter home, Heidi. Just write it like a letter home, and those words of yours which clearly are well chosen and worth reading (I’m reading you here; you can do this) will never again get bottled up. Write on, sister.