M EATLOAF MADE ME DO IT. There is no other explanation I can think of, and while that is a tautology, I know, I offer it anyway: Meatloaf made us write about meatloaf. We have succumbed and are sinking further, daily, into the warm, aromatic, comfort that is meatloaf. My name is Marion and I am powerless not to write about meatloaf. Fine. I admit it, as well as the obvious fact that eating meatloaf begets writing about meatloaf, begets eating more meatloaf begets…

Well, you know what it begets. We’ve got Paige. We’ve got Dear(s) Ann and Abby, and we’ve got me, all sharing the meatloaf love. But then the other night I saw Marge Simpson serving Bart and Lisa little meatloaf men, and I felt like the gauntlet had been thrown down.

Marge, you blue-haired temptress: What’s your secret? Ever the competitor, I did some poking around, and found this, and I think that you’ll agree that we’ve even surpassed the wife of Homer, and upped the ante.

Is that meatloaf in your oven, sisters? Let’s see it. Recipes, please, here and now.

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AP photograph of twins Abby and Ann

DEAR ABBY HAD SISTER ISSUES. The famous advice columnist had a twin sister who grew up to be known as Ann Landers, the name of another famed advice column. And you’d think by the nature of their work that the sisters would have the skills to live in sibling harmony. Ah, no. In fact, there were many years that the twins did not speak.

Born 17 minutes apart, maybe the sisters were destined to get into a tussle after their parents named them Esther Pauline (Abby) and Pauline Esther (Ann). But the twins went happily along, collaborating on a gossip column while attending Sioux City’s Morningside College, then dropping out of school in 1939 to stage a double wedding, and later working again on an already-established Chicago Sun-Times advice column called “Ann Landers.” And life was smooth as butter. That is until Esther Pauline left to start “Dear Abby.”

The sisters didn’t speak to each other for many years, only patching things up later in life. I’ve always wondered if the reconciliation came over a dinner of meatloaf. As we’re reporting here on TSP, meatloaf can bring people together over a common shared purpose: to eat the food of the gods. Unless, of course, you have to choose whose recipe to use, which we’ll leave to you, since there’s no way we’re getting into a sisterly food fight.

Dear Abby’s Meat Loaf

• 2 pounds lean ground beef
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups bread crumbs
• 3/4 cup ketchup
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 package dry onion soup mix
• bacon strips

Directions
1. Mix all ingredients up and put in greased baking dish.
2. Place bacon strips along top of meat loaf.
3. Bake for one hour at 350 degrees for 1-1½ hours.

Ann Lander’s Meatloaf

• 1 lb. ground beef
• 1/2 lb. ground veal
• 1/2 lb. ground pork
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups cracker crumbs
• 3/4 cup ketchup
• 1/2 cup warm water
• 1 package dry onion soup mix
• 4 strips bacon
• 1 8-oz. can tomato sauce

Directions
1. Mix meats together by hand in large bowl.
2. Add Worcestershire sauce, eggs, cracker crumbs, ketchup, water, and soup mix.
3. Shape into a loaf in a shallow baking dish. Drape loaf with bacon strips, then pour tomato sauce over loaf.
2. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour, or until done to your liking.

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