EVERYONE HAS A STORY. It’s true. And the evidence has never been more obvious. Have you seen the size of the scrapbook aisles at Michael’s or A.C. Moore? Have you read any blogs today, or watched as the number of printed personal essays continues to climb, even as the number of pages of our newspapers and magazines continues to decline? But are we writing it as well as we’d like, or are we just saying more? Would some how-to tips help, perhaps?
To ensure that you’re not just writing for height and distance, but actually saying something to your audience, is what separates those memoirs of interest (printed or digital) from those that just blah-blah blah all over the page. We know the difference when we read it, of course. But how to foster that ethic as we write?
To help, I am offering memoir tips, honed from my 11 years of teaching a memoir class to more than 500 students who have assuredly taught me more than I have taught them. The sisterly thing to do, of course, is share those things that have been shared with me.
One of the first things I learned teaching memoir is that most people are hung up on the fact that there are two sides to the story. Yes there are. At least.
If you live in a family you know that even the dog has his point of view. So, with that in mind: How do you get those competing sides under control? Try this tip. And now, how to get only your side on the page? This might help.
And with all those versions whirling around, whose story is it, by the way? Asked and answered right here.
Is your sense of privacy being sorely tested as you write your family’s tale? You’re not the first writer to consider this. Maybe this will help.
As I write this, I realize I’m really suggesting that there are guidelines for writing memoir, and that they include everything from what makes good memoir, to how to shape your characters, even if you know them well.
These guidelines include:
- Writing it all down. Keeping notes and how to organize them.
- Choosing topics that are right under our noses.
- Selecting details that enliven your pieces.
- Wrestling against that great desire to make it all up.
- And my very favorite device of all devices: making lists.
How is your memoir going, whether it’s an actual manuscript, or a particular series of blog posts, perhaps? Need some help? TSP is dedicated to helping our sisters and brothers get their story on the page, or screen. Keep coming back. There’s lots more where these came from.
Write on.
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First time here? Here's the idea: 
No surprise, really, that sisterhood, often life’s longest relationship and always one of its most important, has been the Muse for so much creative self-expression by women, and also by men. 
As the suffix of its name suggests, 
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As always, these tips are helpful reminders! Thanks!
Hey, Danielle: So glad you like them. We’re rounding them up in the hope that everyone can set aside a little time during the summer to get more writing done, and that all they need is a little nudge. Enjoy.
You have surely heard this question many times from your students. Not having had the privilege of hearing the answer in class, I ask it electronically: how does a memoirist, budding or in full bloom, deal with self-censorship? What if something in a memoir, recounted accurately and interestingly, is potentially hurtful to others mentioned in the text? I guess before something is published, the gracious thing to do is to submit the manuscript in advance as fair warning to those who are mentioned in it, and it is up to each writer and his/her editor and publisher (and maybe lawyer!) to determine whether to accede to changes. But what happens in more informal and immediate publishing, such as blogging? How do you TSP writers deal with this — and do you approach it differently when writing for print media, online media and blogging?
Hello Petra. And welcome to TSP. Such a great set of questions. And ones I’m delighted to field. The first thing to know is that you cannot libel the dead. No kidding. So you may say what you will. Now, that doesn’t mean that the living might not really hate you for it, but we’ll get to that. If the person you are writing about is dead, you cannot be sued for what you say.
The second thing to know is that the truth is the best defense. In other words: tell the truth. Your version, perhaps, but do not mess with the truth and you cannot go too far wrong. In this discussion in my class, I always then remind the writers that the truth, however, is not to be used as a blunt object. Why are you writing what you are writing? If it’s to get back at someone, it’s a rotten reason, and rarely, by the way, do those books work. Never show you manuscript to anyone but your editor, agent, and maybe a good reader who is invested in your success. No one gets to tell you what you may say.
So, all those things rolled into one mean that you write without fear or favor, but you do so without the intent to cause harm. These are the bare hack minimum rules of journalism and must be adhered to in print, on radio, online and in blogging or all we’ll have left is Fox News.
Getting back to having someone hate you for what you say. Well, it happens. My sister was not a bit happy with my first book about our mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. But she is the first to admit that it is accurate. And that is always your goal as a writer. Be accurate, be fair.
Write on.
What a great help to have these tips collected together like this – and just the nudge I needed (I’m hopin’) to refocus on a little memoir project I’ve got going. Super. Thanks so much.
Hi, Jerilynn, and welcome to TSP. I am so glad you benefit from the memoir tips. Have you seen the rest of the string? Please use ‘em to write your project. That’s what they’re there for. And let us know how you’re doing. Come back soon.
I love your lessons…thanks so much.
Hi, Nikki. And welcome to TSP, where we are happy indeed to do the sisterly thing and share what we know, so you’ll share what you know, and life can go on with a little more awareness. Please come back and join us soon again. We’ll look forward to it.