Lessons from the Sweat of Our Bras

by marionroach on April 21, 2009

braYOU KNOW YOU’RE A SISTER when you’re trying on a bra, and every bra nightmare you’re ever had comes sling-shotting back at your self-esteem as if loaded and launched from a 44DD, and you start to get just the eensiest bit hostile in the dressing room at the pooches and the pouches, and how you look nothing whatever like a Victoria’s Secret model, and you leave 19 bras in the dressing room, buying none, and go crying to the car and call your sister.

“Shopping for a bra,” may be the single worst phrase in the retail lexicon. Substitute, “purse,” or “shoes,” or even “sex toy,” and few if any of us feel the tiny slivers of icy humiliation that run right up the collective female spine when the word “bra” is tossed into that quote.

It’s not that I haven’t had a good fit or two along the way. There was large, red-haired Orthodox Jewish man at Manhattan’s famous Orchard Corset (where Madonna is said to have gotten her Gaultier pointy-cups), all those years ago, who simply glanced at my fully clothed chest, called out a size I’d never in my life imagined being, and then handed me what turned out to be the single, comfortable, properly-fitting bra of my life. Problem was, it was ugly. Medievally ugly. But comfortable. Such kind comfort sonnets are written about. But fetishically grotesque. So ugly was this bra that no one ever saw me in it, despite the fact that I wore it all the time. Relentlessly kind but hideous, it was the Shrek of bras.

What followed are years of misery, after I refused to go back for more ugly bras (and there was that little tiny issue of calling out my size in the store), and instead again set out on my own into dressing rooms, almost always emerging with exactly the wrong thing and, of course, buying it anyway, and calling my sister to kvetch.

braLast week was stacking up to be no different. My arms loaded with bras of all shapes (and the wrong size), I stomped into the Macy’s dressing room, expecting the worst, and got it. But this time, my teenage daughter was in the next dressing room, and despite my previous personal experiences, I knew I had one of those chances to change the course of history. This was confirmed after seeing the slump in my daughter’s mood after her own dressing room try-on. And so we left Macy’s and walked the mall. And while I have no more faith in the Victoria’s Secret Angel than the next woman, something made me stop, think, and calmly stroll into the place, go up to a saleswoman, and say the following thing:

“Please help me.”

My daughter looked stricken. Was her mother really going to talk about breasts with a stranger? Yes, apparently I was.

It took six trips and maybe 25 bras, including a recognition that yes, I was choosing the wrong cup size, wrong band size, as well as the wrong styles, until I hit what could have been the really big snag.

“This fits,” I told her, as I took the bra back to the saleswoman, “but I’m pooching out a little under the arms,” to which the wise woman arched an eyebrow toward the enormous black and white photograph of the near-naked model in a heavenly-hovering mode just above us, and said, “Everybody does a little. Everybody.”

braLater, at home, I dialed Margaret and told her the tale: I had new bras for the first time in years; my daughter had learned the lesson that you ask for help even when the subject is your own breasts; and that you do not leave empty-handed, no matter how hard it might seem, to which Margaret said the two loveliest words a sister can say:

“Good job.”

You know you’re a sister when that happens.

We’re collecting sisters’ versions of when we know we’re not out there on our own. What’s yours?

{ 88 comments… read them below or add one }

jen April 21, 2009 at 6:19 pm

ooh, I hate bra shopping. Esp. at VS. If I wanted them hiked up to my chin, I would have mentioned that. They also told me to just try on a C when I was measured as a D.

marionroach April 21, 2009 at 7:00 pm

Hey, Jen: You bet, sister. If I wanted them hiked up to my chin I would have worn a life preserver, that’s how I feel about the up-to-my-chin look. Thanks for the, ah, support. Ha! Keep coming back.

Anastasia April 21, 2009 at 10:03 pm

I know the Shrek Bra all too well!

Amy April 21, 2009 at 10:28 pm

The awful thing about bra shopping is that even after you go through everything you described above you then have to pay for them and they cost more than the material is worth.

In spite of the bra shopping agonies, I think shopping for a swim suit is a much worse experience! If you find one that fits you then have to wear it in public; or at least that is supposed to be the plan.

Jaya April 22, 2009 at 8:26 am

My personal “development” got stuck at sports bras, bralettes, and tight spandex-riddled tank tops. I just can not, will not wear a “real” bra — but maybe it’s because of all the pooching and pushing and wiring and strapping…

Guys have a choice: boxers or briefs. Two totally different aesthetics and totally different levels of comfort, I would imaging. I would not enjoy going completely commando on top, so I guess my “training bra” approach is a way of approximating boxers for my b–bs? ^_^

Lisa April 22, 2009 at 8:29 am

I just went bra shopping with my 80-year-old mother, who has been frustrated with bras for at least the past 60 years. This is SUCH a universal essay! Thanks, Marion!

margaret April 22, 2009 at 8:33 am

You may not recall my first bra-shopping experience, Marion, which was one of our mother’s day-late-and-a-dollar-short specialties.

I think I had needed one for years when a salesperson in Gertz Dept. Store said to Mommy, “How about a little bra for your daughter?” as we were buying school clothes. I could have kissed the woman. Mommy was just oblivious on so many of these topics the first time around.

marionroach April 22, 2009 at 8:50 am

Yo, Anastasia: So sorry you know the Shrek bra. We may all have one in our drawers. I wonder. Ladies? Anybody else have one?

Hi, Amy: You may be right, and I may be on to the next topic for our discussion. Though let’s not leave bras too soon since the stories that are piling is are just wonderful. Thanks so much for yours. Please send more.

Hi, Jaya: I always wonder what my breasts were in training for. That phrase is too hilarious for words, right? Glad you’ve mananged to keep your ethic pure, though. Congratulations on that.

Hello, Lisa. Talk about wonderful stories. That you took your mother bra shopping may be the single best image I’ve had to ponder in years. Talk about the circle of life. I never thought of it as being a bra strap before, but hey, it works as an image. Thank you. Please come back with more in the mom chronicles. We love it.

Margaret, I had forgotten that. Yes, our mother did rather specialize in the head-smack moments of life, didn’t she?

DJ April 22, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Bathing suits are the worst. Face it, nearly anything is bad these days if you don’t look like a 20-year old pencil. But a bathing suit is outerwear and (usually) you don’t stuff it under your complete-coverage shirt unless you want to die of the heat. These suits are made of material that would show a bump on that pencil clearly. So it’s easy to imagine the anguish if your shape veers away from a pencil and more towards the, um, circular. -djs

Janice April 22, 2009 at 1:36 pm

Ah, bra-shopping. Its such a Sisyphian endeavour. Just when you think you’ve got it nailed down (Shrek bra and all!), you find your body changes shape, or they discontinue the perfect bra you found the last time around! For my first bra, I suffered the indignity of being measured (over my clothes thankfully!), by the “intimates” saleslady out in the middle of the lingerie section of Sears. Nothing like having your 28AA broadcast for all to hear!

LindsayE April 22, 2009 at 2:42 pm

This is the story of our lives…no one in my house understands it, because I take after my dad’s side of the family and my mom and sister are on the small side, so they don’t understand not being able to find bras in normal stores, the generalized discomfort, them looking like harnesses, thinking a large bra size is a blessing when it’s a curse from the great beyond, etc.
You’ll appreciate the fact that around New Year’s I made a scene in Nordstroms after finding 2 CUTE bras that fit me. AND they were on sale! (Sister thought I was a mad woman, I probably, am!) I’ve never owned a cute bra, let alone a purple one with lace and little bows that REALLY fits. My mom and sister may never understand why I’m so excited, but anyone else who has tried the frustrating and futile task of bra shopping for a 38 G will enjoy my tale of wonder. Cheers, and congrats on finding a comfy bra!

Priscilla April 22, 2009 at 7:54 pm

My two daughters and I will never bra shop together again-Our last experience was HORRIBLE! I choose the most expensive ones because, uh, doesn’t that guarantee they will fit the best and look fantastic??? (I should get my money back…) Jillian chooses the cheapest and most functional from the sale bin. (It’s usually some atrocious color,ie; camo black and all snagged) And then there’s Abby; every color of the rainbow, all the new magic fabrics and miracle enhancers to lift and separate, and padding in all the right areas. To make it even more unbearable, she parades around in the dressing room when she tries them on! Shocking! Oh and BTW,you may be interested to know that Mother, at the age of 97, has decided not to wear a bra ever again. I discovered that at the last Dr’s appointment. Very scary. Geez, what will the neighbors think? (I still think of the two of you as neighbors….)

Sandy Daigler April 22, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Until very recently I apparently thought that bras came in two colors only — white and off-white. At least you would think I thought that by looking in my underwear drawer. My ever-vigilant sister-in-law came to the rescue and insisted that I NEEDED a red bra lined with polka dotted fabric. Last time I saw her, she insisted on seeing my strap to check what color bra I was wearing. Lucky for me, I had chosen a lavender bra that day — phew, dodged another bullet…

Petra April 22, 2009 at 10:00 pm

One of the great, untapped wells of sister dialogue is the customer review section of online underwear purveyors, especially the bra reviews. See, for example, those at http://www.herroom.com, where they are neatly organized by bra size and style. Taken individually, they are confessionals or words of warning or wisdom or exultation to random passers-by. Taken collectively, they are a stage play.

Marilyn April 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm

Marion, you’ve clearly struck common gold. Bra shopping – unless, I’d imagine, you’re Gisele – is a misery we’ve all known. My own sister and I shared a code for these outings – “getting felt up” by the old ladies at Schwartz’s. We dreaded the gaping curtain, the measures hung around perfumed turkey necks, the inevitable “lean over, honey. Let them fall.” Eesh. Your readers are right! Only bathing suit shopping, with its ghastly unkind lighting, can compare.

paige April 23, 2009 at 12:27 am

Marion, you are a genius. I think we need a whole section just for this topic. God knows I have stories. I now only buy bras from one store. The problem is, it’s in Los Angeles. I bought five bras when I went back to L.A. last year–and when I came home, my new puppy ate three of them. I’ve got my Shrek bras holding down–er, up–the fort until I get back to the stern ladies of Miss Stephens.

marionroach April 23, 2009 at 8:48 am

Yo, DJ: Yes, bathing suits. I feel that we may be moving toward that topic as the reality of the new season descends on us with its gravitational pull. Hang in, sister! We’ll take it on for you.

Hi, Janice: I love those euphemisms. “Intimates.” One of my favorites, right here with “training bra.” Oh, those women with their tape measures around their necks. How many thousands of dollars of therapy checks do you think have been cashed because of them? Keep coming back, please. I have a new bra story cooking.

Hey, LindsayE. Welcome. I hear you, sister. Mine are no small reckoning either, and when I find a bra I love, I dance. Dance! So now let’s tap a little under the desk in unison. Wear it proudly, woman!

Hi, Priscilla. Welcome back. That the story of you, your daughters, and your mother can be told in the bras you wear is a gorgeous thing, a marvelous funny thing to consider. I love the characterization of each, and for those of you writing memoir, check that out. We know these women by their reactions, don’t we? I talk a lot about this in my memoir tips, like this one: http://thesisterproject.com/roach/more-than-just-the-facts-please/ I love Abby’s version of the shopping, BTW. Just love it.

Hi, Sandy: Your sister-in-law is my new hero. That’s hilarious and intimate in a true sister-way and TSP might need to start giving weekly sister prizes for such great, funny gestures as that. Wonderful.

Dear Petra: Wow. You’re right. Check it out, sisters. Thanks, and please keep coming back with such marvelous suggestions.

Marilyn, I love this. We had Gertz, you had Schwartz’s. While the “perfumed turkey necks” send me into a memory so old and buried that I nearly had to be resuscitated, the “lean over, honey. Let ‘em fall,” nearly did me in. Come back, sister. We’re waiting to hear more.

Yo, Paige. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Flying to L.A., huh? And then the puppy ate them. You Are Ava Gabor! http://thesisterproject.com/orloff/what-i-have-in-common-with-eva-gabor/ Just like you said, though I never doubted it. Fabulous. Thank you.

Roadchick April 23, 2009 at 10:07 am

Oh, if you could’ve heard the conversation in my office after I read this post! Hilarious.

I was fully developed at the tender age of 13 and of course I was mortified by the changes that seemed to happen overnight. My mom decided that in order to corral my new assets, we would visit The Bra Lady.

The Bra Lady was ensconced in a high rise office building somewhere in downtown Chicago. When we got there, it was no over-the-clothes measuring in the middle of ‘Intimates’, it was topless in a cramped fitting room with my mother and the scary Bra Lady.

I was measured sixteen ways to Sunday and the size (32DD) pronounced and The Bra Lady marched off to find the proper ‘garment’ after instructing me to stay “just like I was”. So I stood there, naked from the waist up, with my mom for what seemed like an eternity.

I would have stayed naked forever if it meant The Bra Lady would not have come back with a ‘nude’ bra with about 16 hooks on the back of it. I was way ahead of Madonna because no longer was I gently rounded – I had the Atomic Warheads of Doom.

It was pronounced perfect, my mom (curse her) requested five more just like it, and after writing a check that would’ve bailed out AIG, we were done.

I probably still need therapy from the humiliation of having to change for gym and everyone seeing my bra from 1948. The bra that won WWII and came home victorious.

Ugh.

Maureen April 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm

I’ve worked hard to forget…. These posts brought it all back and redeemed the humiliation with sisterhood and laughter. Thank you, Marion! Thank you all!

I buy bras on-line. Playtex. You all have inspired me; does VS carry big girl sizes????

I am blessed with a lover (husband) who prefers ‘em “FREE” (as in “free the boobies” at the end of the day.)
He seems not to notice the ravages of age and gravity. Bless him!

marionroach April 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Well, Roadchick, you’ve one it again, this time making me laugh so hard my bra hurt. The Atomic Warheads of Doom may need to be a chapter in a book on bras none of us enjoyed wearing. “Changing for gym.” Oh God, I can’t even write that line without sweating and shaking. Thanks, sister. We’re a huge fan of yours.

Hey, Maureen. So glad we made you laugh. On a topic as riddled with emotion as this one is, that response beats the hell out of rending our clothing, yes? So glad you’ve got a man who appreciates the free things in life. The best things are. Please come back soon.

Anastasia April 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Marion, are you familiar with The Bra Ball ?

http://www.braball.com/

Susan April 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm

I feel very lucky, my first bra experience was at Bloomingdale’s and this lady with the biggest beehive hair do fitted me for a bra, privately with out my Mom. Since then I have had some pretty scary people help me. The newest foam filled bras baffle me, but did you hear on the news that a woman had her life saved by her under wire bra, a bullet bounced off of it.
I have laughed so hard reading this, if any one is in Rhinebeck, NY visit Joovay, Barbara is great at fitting.

marionroach April 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm

Yo, Anastasia: Now I am. How fabulous. Check it out, sisters.

Hey, Susan: I think you were very lucky indeed, and that we are very lucky to now have the name of a good fitter. Road trip, ladies!

Laura April 23, 2009 at 1:41 pm

What a nerve you have hit!

I have spent years trying to find the right bra which in my dreams is flattering, comfortable and gorgeous. I will spend a serious amount of money for one or six that gets me anywhere near that dream. After years of educating myself as to what works for my breasts (I was a costume designer in a former life), please let me pass along some of the best information I have found to help:
http://tiny.cc/DF6N9

For the ultimate bra of my dreams, I hope one day to be able to do this:
http://tinyurl.com/dxxmwx

And while we are speaking about France, can someone please explain to me why I can more easily find a selection of 36DD bras in France (or as they call it there 95E, which I vastly prefer) though I have never seen a French woman with such assets?

Fabulous post!

marionroach April 23, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Hi, Laura. And welcome. “Flattering, comfortable and gorgeous.” Ah, what a dream you give to us all. I hope someone can answer your question about France since that tres perplexing, indeed. Thanks for the links. They’re splendid. Please come back soon.

Jed April 24, 2009 at 11:37 am

what am I doing here?
well just fyi
The Town Shop, UWS (around the corner from a certain Mr KBS)
famous bra shop
The owner, an older woman is quite famous too for just looking at a woman and knowing her correct bra size
http://www.townshop.com/press.shtml
And no, I don’t work there or get a commision
Its just in my nabe and have read many stories about this store

marionroach April 24, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Oh, Jed: You’re the man. Thank you. Of course! The Town Shop. I haven’t thought of them in eons. Fabulous.

Sandy Daigler April 26, 2009 at 8:43 pm

Well, after reading all this, I realized I had the Bra Blahs, that horrible state of affairs where all of your bras bore the living daylights out of you. So I visited Victoria’s Secret today and bought three lovely, colorful, lacy, plunging bras. I even let the lady with the big hair measure me! What fun!

marionroach April 27, 2009 at 8:29 am

Hi, Sandy. Oooh, the bra blahs. Great title for something, but not for your drawers. So glad you’re over them. That getting measured was fun is the best new notch on emotional maturity I’ve heard in years. Plunge on, sister!

Tea April 29, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Oh yes, the universal awfulness of the bra experience. So true.

I recently had to go shopping myself and realized there are bras that promise to make you look bigger, bras that promise to make you look smaller, but none of them promise to make you comfortable!

And then when you do find a good one, they discontinue it.

Thanks for the laughs. Much needed!

Barbara April 30, 2009 at 12:46 am

When my daughters were little and I was always racing around in the morning to take them to daycare and go to work, I suddently realized one day as I was about to leave the house that my bra was on backwards. It was funny for a nanosecond until I realized… that it really didn’t matter !

Enjoying the stories !
PS I have good luck at Penney’s- their sales especially

marionroach April 30, 2009 at 7:51 am

Hi, Tea. I noticed that too! Ones that reduce. Ones that enhance. It’s like that old Jefferson Airplane song, “Go Ask Alice,” where “One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small.” All together now, sisters, with our new lyrics. “One bra makes you larger, and one bra makes you small….

Welcome, Barbara. Backwards, inside out. Oh yeah. Done that a lot, right, sisters? Thanks for the tip on Penney’s. And please keep coming back.

Jenni May 1, 2009 at 6:08 pm

I had a bra shopping experience with a young co-worker sister.
She was SO happy when she went in as a A and out as a C. Come to find out, she had been wearing the same size since 9th grade.

Now to be able to find a cool bra for the upcomming hot summer months that still provides lift and support….

marionroach May 2, 2009 at 7:46 am

Hi, Jenni. And welcome. “Went in as an A and came out a C.” There’s an opening line to a great story; and a great title for a tale is “Searching for a Summer Bra.” Do write it if you find it, please, and send it to us. Ah, the bra strap that binds us together, yes?

Elissa May 4, 2009 at 9:45 am

Inspired by your post I ventured into Madam Pirie’s Famise Corset & Lingerie Shop on Saturday. 10 minutes . . . that’s it . . . measured and fitted . . . presented with 3 bras which I purchased and promptly called my companion to giggle that all this time I thought I was a 40D – infact a 36F. F?! They don’t sell those at Macy’s. Oh please . . . love the way they look . . . just have to get used to the steel girder puncturing my ribs. Pert, companion called them . . . oh, perky, I say. No, pert. What’s the difference I say. Ummm, guess my perky days are far gone – certainly not with an F.

marionroach May 4, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Hey, Elissa. So glad you got those gals under control at a good fitting. Pert! Fabulous.

KM Stitchery June 18, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Oh I HATE bras! Most of them seem to be designed to push your boobs together to look like cleavage, I guess for sex appeal, mine don’t naturally do that, so after years of wearing underwire bras and having pain in my chest (in between my boobs), I finally found blue canoe a company that makes organic ethically made in the usa bras, underwear and clothing.

Check them out: http://www.bluecanoe.com/

It might not work for some ladies, I think up to a C up these bras work great!

marionroach June 19, 2009 at 6:47 am

Hi there, KM Stitchery: Thank you for this. Oh my, an ethical bra. This deserves a treatise unto itself. You are very kind to share this. You’re right, of course, about the intent of most bras. I agree. Please come back soon and share some more insights.

georgie August 2, 2009 at 4:38 pm

By far the worst torture ever is shopping for bras with Mom. She looks for the least expensive ones, grumbles about “gravity” and has creases in her shoulders from years of wearing the wrong size and cinching the shoulder straps too tight. She did get a fitting somewhere, but still does the cheap bras, complaining thing, the bras just are the right size now. I have never had real problems buying properly fitting bras. They just never seem to last as long as one would like.

marionroach August 3, 2009 at 9:29 am

Hi, Georgie: Welcome to TSP. Oh “Taking Mother Bra Shopping.” Now there’s a title for a memoir. Oh my, yes. You are fortunate, indeed, to get a good fit. But I agree that once you do, they never last very long. Please have a look around TSP while you’re here and please come back soon.

Ashlie August 18, 2009 at 7:25 pm

Hi girls. I guess I’m gonna be on my own here, but I adore shopping for underwear; bra’s in particular! When you have a good fit and a great colour, the embarrassment doesn’t seem so bad. Treat it like buying a new top, but better.; this is really just for you (or the other half…) and if you keep up the momentum, it soon becomes normality. I’ll admit, I’m 19 and I’m suppossed to be free-spirited etc. etc… but really were all on the same boat. Perhaps many bras are designed to make men look at you differently, but have you considered how differently you may be able to see yourself?

marionroach August 19, 2009 at 8:10 am

Hey, Ashlie. How great for you. And yes, we should consider how differently we may be able to see ourselves. What a wise woman you are, indeed. Keep coming back and share more. Hope to see you again soon.

Square-Peg Karen August 20, 2009 at 8:22 pm

Marion, YOU are hilarious!! And wise! Your daughter is so lucky! You wrote “If I wanted them hiked up to my chin I would have worn a life preserver..” – almost fell off my ball-chair when I read that.

And all of us here – my word – the stories are great. I used to love bra shopping (the only worry was if I had enough $ with me) – but since I’ve gotten older (and, ok, plumper) not so much fun. I HATE it! And have been feeling isolated in that feeling – not realizing it’s a sister thing..

thanks for this!

marionroach August 21, 2009 at 7:13 am

Yo, Square-Peg Karen. Ah, bras. Or should I say, Ugh, bras. I think this age requires a better word for plump. Let’s work on it together. Something that combines wisdom and growth, flesh and fun. Hmmm. Ideas? The sisterhood could rewrite the vocabulary for aging, I think. this might be our next goal.

Square-Peg Karen August 21, 2009 at 2:39 pm

ooooh, Marion – I got it! I got it! Do I got it??

In a post called “Let the Hammock Do All the Work” I wrote a definition for a word I like better than “plump”. Here ’tis:

I need to share the definition of “plunk”. My 5 y/o granddaughter (Little Princess) and I coined the word (I think). “Plump” has some serious flaws – whereas “plunk” is fun – it means: “a little more in the pounds/stones department, but it looks good on YOU!”

Totally different from “plump”, which sounds like “ready to be cooked” or, at least “ewwww”.

Well, it’s a start anyway…Come on sisters, we can DO this! I love this call to a wise AND fun vocabulary of aging!!

marionroach August 23, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Hey there, Square-Peg Karen. Perfect. I’m thinking we may need to start a whole new string here of, “A is for…”, as written by the sisterhood. I’ll see what I can whip up. Thanks so much.

Kevin C August 25, 2009 at 11:59 pm

I’m male 43. I sometimes google something I remember from my past that no one else has ever heard of… I guess thats what brings me to this website. Bras. In the summer of 1970 I was 5 and living in Detroit. The girls in the neighborhood were wearing bras forwards and backwards. Forwards meaning like bras are usually worn, and backward… off the back covering the shoulder blades. I know this sounds odd. All of the girls were doing it. It was a hot summer. Wearing just a bra in public was probably illegal, but it seemed like wearing two bras made it okay. This is a serious post. It’s like a tiny bit of “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn” that was part of my childhood. So if anyone remembers this trend from ’69, ’70 please let me know. It may ease some cognitive disonance. Thanks. Kevin C.

marionroach August 26, 2009 at 8:30 am

Hi, Kevin, and welcome to TSP. We love memoir bits. You know, I do have a vague memory of seeing a photo of this in Life, or one of those iconic sources. But this is exactly how memoir is built–one small but vivid memory at a time. I think that all too often people think that other people remember everything, in order, in some grand narrative, and fail to realize that all memoir writers work hard from small, individual memories on which they build their tales. This is a great example of something vivid that could lend itself to a larger story. Good for you for bringing this up. And if you’d like to see more memoir tips, and some advice on what to do with bright shiny memories like this, look here, at my memoir writing tips. And write on. We love hearing from you.

Norma August 30, 2009 at 10:23 pm

I’m chuckling at all these women’s tales of distress at not being able to find large enough bras. Try being 45 and still in a training bra; now that’s damn depressing! At least I can buy a box of those round band-aids and I’m good to go.

Maggie Sabovich September 1, 2009 at 12:43 pm

I gave up on bras when I was in my 40′s…and began wearing bodysuits! …or slenderizers or whatever they call them now. I always loved putting on my one piece bathing suit, and the bodysuit is the next best thing..no pooching, no pinching, great shaping, other than that horrid under the arms thing if a bit overweight, but a pair of pantyhose and the bodysuit for dress-up, and the bodysuit with underpants (or not) with jeans and tees..no overlap, ladies, and cotton ones for summer. Try one….! I’m 73 now, and it all still looks pretty good!

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