YOU KNOW HOW WE LOVE US SOME SINGALONGS. I mean, we’ve done it before. So here, for all you sisters juggling holiday prep, is our seasonal song, to be sung to the tune of There is Nothing Like a Dame, which, if you need to be reminded, is right up top in the music video.
Our Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa Song for the Sisters
We’ve got swine flu in the ‘nabe,
We’ve got sore throats in the house,
There’s a rodent in a downstairs wall,
That’s bigger than a mouse,
The Christmas guests are adding up,
I’m borrowing six chairs,
What ain’t I got?
I ain’t got scared!There’s a science project in the works,
French homework on the floor,
Tennis lessons squeezed between
Post office trips galore,
Two-sided tape stuck to the cat
The hamster’s fled his cage!
What am I not?
I’m not insane!We’ve got nothing that any other woman in the States doesn’t do too
And we know it would kill any man who tried to do tooThere is nothing like a dame!
Nothing in the world!
There is nothing you can name!
That is anything like a dame!We rush and zip and stitch and stir
While loved ones say “Do less!”
When we do they simply hands us
Several pairs of pants to press,
We’ve got energy of twenty men,
The courage of a bear!
What ain’t we got?
A thing to wear!Oh, but when those January sales come!
We’ll slip out and at eighty-percent off get ourselves some!There is nothing like a dame!
Nothing in the world!
There is nothing you can name!
That is anything like a dame!There are no books like a dame!
And nothing cooks like a dame!
There are no cats like a dame!
And nothing acts like a dame!There ain’t a thing that’s wrong with anyone, dear,
That can’t be cured by putting him near
A capable, cool-headed, marvelous, multi-tasking dame!
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
The things that delights (scares?) me about this is that you actually write these things, these lyrics, like it was nothing. It just pours out.
I am always astonished that you (sometimes with your dear husband, who like you has an amazing voice and musical ability and knows every show tune there is) conjure these compositions off the top of your head(s) — for people’s birthdays, other special events, holidays, etc. Like it was nothing, a breeze.
Me, I don’t think in verse (or sing very well). Wonder where you got the talent from?
Oh hurrah, hurrah! I’m back in the Sister ‘hood — got busy and forgot to visit (duh!) — came by (thank you Twitter for the reminder) and am smiling huge like the last time I visited!!
You gals are beyond AWESOME!
Yo, Square-Peg Karen. Hiya, sister. So glad to read you here again, and so glad you are smiling huge. That’s what we like to hear. Hoping you’ll be smiling huge all through the holidays and new year. Come back soon.
This was great! Sounds just like my life–and I’ll write that “I Hate Christmas” essay just as soon as this mess is OVER!!
Happy Holidays to everyone.–djs
Yo, sister DJ: Thanks for stopping by amid the holiday madness. And thanks for singing along: We heard you over the year-end din. Sing it loud, sister! We’ll look forward to your song soon.
I’m a brother, which probably makes me a bad sister, but I minored in Women’s Studies and I love to garden. But still, maybe y’all don’t think I know a dame thing. Oh well, 365 more days till Christmas.
Hey, TC. You’re a good brother, indeed, and we’re delighted to read you here. It seems you do know a dame thing or two, and we hope you’ll come back and share what you know.