Sisterhood can involve a lot of shoveling.
YOU ARE A SISTER WHEN biology determines it, of course, but then there are those myriad jeweled or jagged moments in life when you know you are a sister, whether that sister be biological, adopted or befriended. Like Tinkerbell herself, these moments of recognition come sifting down through the ethos and can stop us or start us, depending on what we are doing. Just the other day I was simply putting away a suitcase, and suddenly it was 1974, and I was unpacking an entirely different suitcase in what now seems like an entirely different life.
I promise, the little shirt just somehow found its way into my college freshman room closet, and despite opportunities to return it at Thanksgiving, Christmas and again at spring breaks, I always somehow forgot. Trying to secretly slide the shirt back into Margaret’s closet all those merry Mays ago, I was parting with something I, too, now loved, returning an item of clothing that in some combination got worn nearly every single day of my freshman year. Under a shirt, over a shirt, by itself, it was black, had one of those delicate, hidden, painted zippers in the back. And since it could be worn as an undershirt, on its own, or as a vest, it was what Glamour would then have called a “must-have,”‘ as in I must have this despite the fact that it’s Margaret’s, and taking it constitutes larceny.
We love these you-know-you’re-a-sister-when moments. We’ve collected some of these knowing moments from you, and I send a shout-out here to Ashley in thanks (you’ll find her point of view in that last link), whose recent comment sent me reeling back all those years when she reminded me of my petit theft. Just before Ashley’s comment there is also Jane’s, with her two-sister-memory of a good harmless laugh at a father’s drooping trousers, and Margaret Hale’s, which reminds us what twinned memory can do for a sister, and others, all treasured here at TSP. I had a shudder of one myself recently while shopping for bras (I know, I know; the horror of it all).
What’s yours? We’re waiting to hear how you knew you were a sister when…
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Recently, one of the houses on our block went up for sale. During an open house, I decided to be nosey and go have a look. The house looks very similar to ours, though the decor was very clearly handled by someone with much more artistic flair than anyone that lives in this house! Anyway, one of the upstairs bedrooms had been recently repainted except for one small uneven square. The owners had taken an antique glass frame and hung it so that the unpainted portion of the wall was “framed.” In that patch of wall, written in ‘girl cursive’ was this… “you are my sister and I miss you, so I am writing on your wall.”
I suppose the story could have played out in any number of ways, but personally I imagine a younger sister missing her older sister’s presence after her departure for college. What a great adolescent, sisterly way to respond to those feelings!! And what a great homeowner-parent – having the wherewithall to use a frame instead of an eraser. Loved it.
All I want to know is *where is my black top?* (and how in the world did you manage that one…I don’t even recall the Episode of the Lost Shirt one bit). So much of what goes on in our lives is lost to consciousness. Sigh.
Hi, Jean L. Oooh, I love this tale, and those homeowners. Whole novels have been written around these kinds of small scenes whose larger stories entrance us. Lovely to consider. Thank you so much. I’m delighted to ponder this.
Margaret: And just what else of yours do you think I might have in my closet?
… you’re in college and she’s in high school, and you sneakily read your sister’s diary but don’t tell, since she not-so-sneakily found your birth control pills and didn’t tell, either. Passing through Arlington, Virginia, I saw this wonderful project, “My Sister’s Diary,” by artist Anissa Mack, http://anissamack.com/19.1. It took me back to those unredacted pages.
Welcome, Petra. Oh, I love this, that old ‘this for that’ thing of sisters. Have you seen this, by Sloane Tanen? One of these little beauties has the birth control moment, as well. Thank you for the Anissa Mack link. Tell us more. We do love a good gallery show. Please come back.