WE’VE TRAVERSED A LONG list of subjects and stories on how to live with a sister (and as a sister), but one of the most poignant topics that keeps emerging from the narrative of TSP is how do live when a sister is lost. A reader and member of our growing TSP family, Gabi Coatsworth, shared a poem with us in a comment, a poem about struggling to reconcile the death of her sister. We’d like to share it with you:
To My Sister
By Gabi Coatsworth
They told me there was an end to every pain
They insisted on it, the grief counselors
But no-one can structure my sorrow
I have to sculpt that piece of flint myselfYears later, sudden and sharp – a chiselled arrowhead -
the longing for you takes me by surprise.I’ve done enough, I want to tell you -
I’ve done my best with the son you left behind
Why can’t you take over, now?
Because you’re dead, I scream into the silence
and one day, your son will be as old as you, then older.But when I see our son I remember how you were:
the way he scowls when I call him on something
the rueful look he has when I catch him out
his helpless laughter when I crack him up
the way he stands, his back curved, weight on one leg.
It’s you -
And it’s not.My sculpture is still made of sorrow’s stone
but the edges are a little smoother, softer, now.
____________________
While the topic of losing a sister may be difficult, it’s not new on The Sister Project. Other thoughts about it:
- The Story of a Lost Sister
- Marion’s List That Helps with Loss
- Saying Goodbye to a Sister-Friend: Joley’s List That Helps with Loss
Thanks to artist Bonnie McLaughlin for the use of her piece Silence in this post. A full gallery show of Bonnie’s work and her TSP interview is not to be missed in the TSP Galleries.
Related posts:
- A Sister Poem from Lucille Clifton SISTER PAIGE DISCOVERED THIS POEM by Lucille Clifton, on a...
- Sing for the Sisters, Dear Antony W ITHOUT SISTERS, A GIRL (OR BOY) WOULD HAVE...
- Saying Goodbye to a Sister-Friend A SISTER-FRIEND FROM OUR extended network, writer and yoga...
- Knit 1, Poetry 2 FROM THE “OH, HOW we wish we’d thought of...
Enjoy this post? Don't miss anything on The Sister Project network. Sign up for our new email newsletter, and subscribe to our RSS feed
First time here? Here's the idea: TSP is a network of blogs about the many facets of the word sister, and the concept of sisterhood. A sisterhood of sister blogs, you could say. Whatever sister means to you, from identical twin to sister-in-law (or in-friendship or in-feminism), we’ll make room to listen in about it or express it on TSP. Like the slogan up top says, “Don’t you have something to say to your sister?” We've got galleries of art and literature by and about sisters, and a Sisterpedia of sisterly trivia...but now we're getting ahead of ourselves. The quick study: 
As the suffix of its name suggests, 
No surprise, really, that sisterhood, often life’s longest relationship and always one of its most important, has been the Muse for so much creative self-expression by women, and also by men. 
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Gabi, thank you for sharing what must be painful – but beautiful – thoughts. The phrase “our son” says it all; your sister was, and continues to be, lucky to have you.
Interesting, Marilyn, that you especially heard the “our son” part. My sister, Marion, always refers to her girl as “our daughter” in front of me, which always perked up my ears…so hearing Gabi say it did, too.
Margaret: Funny about you, Marion and that phrase – I’ve always considered my daughter Josie as belonging to both me and my late sister. It’s silly but lovely, and too painful for words.