WHEN THE RIVER was a tiny guy, strangers used to stop us to exclaim about his resemblance to legendary child star and friend-of-Michael-Jackson Macaulay Culkin. If that’s not enough to send a stage-leery mama scurrying from Los Angeles to the hills of rural New York, I don’t know what is. There were other reasons for, and consequences from, our crazy escape from Hollywood to the farm, and this month, they’re chronicled in a story I wrote for Country Living. As a result, I seem to have opened a Pandora’s box of ambition and desire for my photogenic, performance-oriented offspring.
When the issue arrived in our mailbox last week, everyone in the family was fighting over it, wanting mostly to check out their own photographs. “I’m in a MAGAZINE!” the River crowed. “That is SO COOL.” “Where am I?” his sister responded, anxiously. She counted to make sure there was equality between the siblings in terms of number of pictures of each. Phew. Thank you, editors, for keeping relative peace in my home, at least on that score. (The H and I, who didn’t want to be photographed at all, weren’t counting.)
The newness wore off after a couple of days, though I did hear the River announcing his new career as supermodel to some friends at a playdate. I ignored him, and so did they, and I thought the whole thing was blowing over. He’s much more interested in being the next Mick Jagger than just another pretty face.
But then, over the weekend, the Rock started going through the piles of magazines on our kitchen coffee table.
“Where’s my magazine?” she asked, anxiously. “The one with my article?”
“It’s upstairs in my office,” I answered, distracted.
“Well, what about this one?” She held up a copy of Newsweek.
“What about it?”
“Where’s my picture? How come I’m not in this magazine?”
Maybe we need to move to Iceland.
__________
Image above from Country Living, by Lucas Allen
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I share your sense of relief at the picture parody. Listening to our family’s version of your two (ours now 30 and 25 respectively) recounting childhood memories, I assure you these perceived slights do not fade easily.
But Hurrah! Two new stars have been born (or at least recognized to be shining) by the world at large. I don’t think Iceland – or anyplace on this planet – will serve to remove you from their newly ignited sense of themselves as having a prominent and visible place in our world. Which is as it should be. Breathe and enjoy.
Ha! I meant picture parity, not parody. Apologies….
either too much or not enough coffee on board this AM.
Well, now I need to go stand in the magazine aisle at Wally-World and read your article. Tell the kids I would like to have their autographs…do people still ask for autographs?
Love the photos of your gorgeous home, but I gotta ask: are you kids always that clean? My country childhood was a bit more (ahem) dirty!
:-)
That window seat shot looks almost Normal Rockwell, doesn’t it? Your kids will love seeing that article when they’re older.
Oh dear. Get them a blog! ;)