RIVALRY? HA. THAT’S teeny, tiny potatoes. My resident little sister and big brother have tabled competition, in favor of all out war. It’s looking like Afghanistan in my house: no end in sight.
At least a dozen times, in, oh, the last two days, each of my children, in succession and in isolation, often apropos of nothing, nothing at all, has informed me that they would have been much better off solo, thankyouverymuch. (Actually, they usually omit that last part.) This is usually followed with some expression of not exactly murderous, but certainly magical disappearance, intent. And a discourse on how things would be better, if only they didn’t bear the burden of sibling-hood.
I chime in, mostly, with a weak-voiced reminder of some recent instance of brotherly/sisterly love (because, indeed, it does still appear) which usually merits a shrug, or more often, an eye roll. (I am an eye roller, I am sorry to admit, and worse, it appears to be genetic. Mom, I am sorry.)
Really, moms, what do you do when the conversation turns from irritation to out and out obliteration: “I wish I was NEVER a brother!” “I wish I had a sister, and NOT YOU.”
This only child was unprepared for the loving bond these sweet sibs have shared up to this point (and still, to be fair, occasionally manage to find) but I’m really flummoxed by their current desire to rid house and home of anyone under the age of 40 who shares their DNA. Please tell me this is just a phase…
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I know that it is not funny..but….I love that picture……and….remember….this too shall pass. I know someone very wise said that…..but….I have no idea who it was……and…soon now….John will be back home….yaaaaaayyyyy!!!!
It’s just a phase — and they will probably dip in and out of it for the rest of their lives. My daughters are 19 and 22 and they still go through periods of not speaking to each other and then are the best of friends. The best advice I ever got was to just keep yourself out of it unless there is violence, so don’t make a “triangle situation” where you are the third point because you will never know all the subtleties involved in this fight. I just read a wonderful book called “The Great Indoors” by Sabine Durrant. It’s really about one woman and her life and loves but there is a hilarious ongoing sibling rivalry running along underneath.
Just a phase.
Not only is this just a phase, I would urge you not to feel obligated to respond in any MommyHealsEverything-specific way to such everybody out of my gene pool statements.
I think (and my opinion may be worth exactly as much as you paid to get it) it is important for kids to be able to vent and verbalize any/everything to Mom knowing that while you might not approve of the sentiment voiced, feelings belong out in the open.
I just growl at the Girl that this is the only sibling she is ever going to have, and that she is damn lucky to have him — “…look at me, I don’t have a brother or sister!”
Next thing I know, she has the Boy in his skivvies and her old ballet slippers, and is teaching him positions 1 through 5, and how to do a petit jeté.