ACCORDING TO THE San Jose Register, more than 90% of girls between 3 and 10 own a Barbie doll (or one of her sisters, friends, etc.). My daughter, the Rock, is not among them, though I did cave this Christmas and order her a set of “fashion” dolls, utterly like Barbie in all but name–and price. Lucky girl got three for the price of one. So why won’t I let her play with Barbies? I played with them, and emerged a strong feminist, a college graduate who takes too much crap from people, but still (I hope) could hardly be called a doormat. (And, mind you, my mother, who gave me all those hand-me-down Barbies from my older cousins, was a charter subscriber to Ms. magazine who took me on ERA marches when I was still in elementary school.) What do I have against Barbie?
Maybe it’s that she looks too grown up; I like seeing my baby playing with babies, nurturing them even as she strips ‘em naked and buries them in a cave so they can be saved in the nick of time. Maybe it’s the fact that in real life, she’d be 5 foot 9 and weigh 110 pounds. Envy will do strange things to a woman.
Sometimes, I think Barbie is exactly what we all need: a little reminding to primp and polish, to pretty up and not sweat the small stuff. Barbie always looks happy, never worries about having enough money in the bank, or what to serve for dinner. And let’s face it–she’s got some pretty hot clothes, even if they do tend more towards Cher than Prada.
On the other hand, Barbie is about as corporate as toys come. The fine folks at Mattel tell us what she’ll wear, what she’ll drive, what her career choices are: everything is orchestrated for her. And worst of all–her sweet little sister, Skipper (my favorite of all my inherited Barbies), was unceremoniously killed off in 2003.
My son, the River, scoffs at Barbies, and maybe that’s why his sister doesn’t waste too much energy trying to get me to buy them for her (yet.) But if she pressures me…who knows. She’s persuasive. And in spite of the impassioned argument to the contrary from the folks at AntiBarbie, maybe they are only toys.
Any Barbie stories from the sisterhood?
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My parents bought be a Barbie or two, but I ended up inheriting an extensive collection from our neighbor. Mom was always over my shoulder reminding me how awful they were while I was playing.
I completely support AntiBarbie’s mission, and I’m sure the riddle “to buy or not to buy” will catch up to me someday (I’m sure Barbie will still be kicking it when I have children).
I don’t know- I still don’t like little girls playing “mom” to little babydolls. Just seems wrong…
And no, Barbie won’t do either.
Decisions, decisions…
I wanted my Barbie soooooobad back in the early ’60′s. Still have her, too. Bought some for my girls, or maybe they were knock-offs when they were little. When we visited NYC a couple years ago, and the giant Toys R Us, they bought new ones for themselves, maybe 3/$10. Mind you, they are in their 20′s now. Then all week long, they played with them, acting out the goofiest, grown-up plays with them. Cracked. Me. UP!
I am thinking it is all about balance. It’s not about one toy, or one brand. It’s about priorities taught in general.
Anastasia–I just gave my brother in law the big “no Barbies, please” plea for my daughter’s upcoming 4th birthday. I know it will happen sometime, and I’m sure it will be no big deal, but still…
Reagan–Why don’t you like girls playing mom? If that’s the only thing they play, yes, that’s a shame, though kids do go through completely obsessive phases where they focus on one imaginary world/role at the expense of all others…but I have to say, for my daughter, the “mom” play came with no prompting from any of us–we bought her babies not to encourage it but to support what she was already doing. And she digs drawing, building with Lego, and racing her brother, too…
Barbie has become the scapegoat for feminist issues don’t you think?? We want girls to be strong, intelligent, more concerned with brains and intelligence than with fashion and beauty. So we look around for positive influences and blame Barbie for the negative. But that is wrong. We can blame politics, the media, advertising, and perhaps our own behavior we model to our children for the negative lessons they learn.
Barbie is first a foremost a wonderful child’s toy. The work of childhood is to play and imagine. You can hold a Barbie in your hand, control her movements, decide where she goes and what she wears. Children don’t have that kind of control over their own lives. When I played with my Barbie’s I would “run” (ie control) mine and my friends wound run theirs.
Also Over her 50 years Barbie has been a nurse, a doctor, an astronaut, a business woman and has had many other lucrative careers. She always has a great car, which in America is a strong symbol of success, and she has freedom to do what she wants when she wants…isn’t that what we want for our girls?
It’s only been in our adult memory that we have seen Barbie marketed as pink, bubble headed, and less serious. 50 years ago she represented glamor and independence. So if you don’t like what this toy represents blame marketing, not Barbie. Also when you play with a doll, any doll, a child is free to imagine what ever she/he wants, Mattel does not tell my child what she should be having Barbie do, my daughter decides that.
I still have my Barbies, my daughter has about 20–most given to her by my mom. Lately she hardly plays with them..she prefers drawing, reading, and those blasted Pet Shops! My daughter will grow up to be a strong intelligent and thoughtful girl. The Barbie’s won’t hurt her….but I do protect her from television, commercials, marketing, and media images of women that are inaccurate.
Paige,
Just wait till the Rock discovers American Girl dolls.
That’s really a feminist bind. The dolls and marketing are atrocious but the books, from what I have gleaned from my niece, are a revisionist feminist history of the US–the story of strong girls and young women.
Oh, the Rock is already all about American Girl, though she has yet to visit
Meccaan American Girl Doll store. I actually kind of liked the Kit Kittredge movie, to my undying shame…I love this!
I got an email the other day from a woman telling me she’d like to design a doll for her Historical Cinderella Barbie Doll collection based on the main character in my YA novel Cindy Ella, the idea of which I found quite ironic, seeing that the I call the girls in my fairy tale retellings “anti princesses” and the fact that what starts the story going is this 15-year-old girl being moved to action after seeing Naomi Wolf on CNN.
When I emailed the woman back, I found out that she has Cerebral Palsy, which prevents her from being gainfully employed. She went on to talk about how the dolls are her pride and joy and bring her a huge sense of accomplishment…what’s more empowering than that? Suddenly I felt so honored.
And speaking of Prada – the doll will be wearing a red Prado silk minidress–which is the Prada knockoff she gets at Loehmann’s and wears despite the fact that she DOESN’T end up going to the ball ;)
Amy–You make a great argument, and your description of how Barbie play unfolds reminds me of exactly how my son likes to play with his (absurdly proportioned, totally unrealistic) action figures.
Robin–that is a GREAT story. Perhaps you can share pictures of your tribute Barbie with us when you get them? Now I’m off to Amazon to read up on Cindy Ella!
Hi Paige,
Like your site. When I was a kid it was my father who forbade Barbies, for I think both feminist and anti-corporate/capitalist reasons. When I asked him for one for my bday I got a wooden elephant from Thailand. I NEVER FORGAVE HIM for this. Later that year, I walked to the corner mailbox, climbed on top and refused to come down until I got the whole Barbie townhouse. My mother caved.
Tat–Thanks for stopping by, and…that is hysterical. Wooden elephant? Of course you never forgave him. I’m sure there’s some version of a Barbie townhouse in my daughter’s future, should she ask for it. Your childhood will of iron is eerily suggestive of hers…which just confirms my belief that my (darling, challenging) daughter will be a fantastic woman, someday, if she and I survive her childhood.