Goal Tending

I NEVER THOUGHT OF summer as a time geared toward high achievement. Work on your backstroke, or your golf swing, or your garden? Sure. But anything more ambitious than grilling a perfect burger seems like more work than humid, lazy days can or should contain. It seems, though, that my kids, the Rock and the River, disagree. We were driving home from the River’s second day of the latest day camp (of four, count ‘em, FOUR, different day camp experiences he’s got lined up for the long weeks of summer) when he started a discussion of summer plans.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“You know what my goal is for the summer?”

He was dead serious, so I could only smile to myself at the gravity of his tone.

“No, what?”

“I want to canter a horse. And learn to be a good sport. You know, in soccer.”

Not bad, I thought, for a 7-year-old to pick speed and composure as his short-term life goals. The speed I might have expected, though the choice of a horse as a vehicle was a surprise. With a special brand of contrary that can only, it seems, characterize kids, the Rock’s been really resistant to horseback riding ever since, oh, we got our own horse. Of course.

And as for the sportsmanship, well, that River of mine is a lover not a fighter, but he does have some temper (blame genetics–he gets it from both of his flare-up prone parents) so I was impressed that he was thinking about how to handle anger and disappointment, at least on the soccer field. (Never mind that soccer doesn’t start until the fall. Preparation is everything, right?)

“What’s your goal, Mom?”

I thought about how to answer, whether to be honest, or to use the opening to try to enact some behavioral concessions: “For the TV to not go on all summer,” for example. Or: “To not hear any whining, ever.” But when your kid is dead-serious, it pays to meet him on his own turf. I opted for full disclosure.

“I really want to be able to run ten miles by the end of the summer.”

“Ten MILES? Running the whole way?” He was incredulous, and maybe slightly impressed.

“Yep. Do you think I can do it?

“Sure, Mom.” God love my son’s unwavering believe in my omnipotence.

The Rock piped up next.

“My goal this summer is to spend LOTS of time with mommy.” Awww. Sweet. And I think she meant it–but she’s still getting packed off to day camp in two weeks.

Why? Because without a little room and time away from my kids, my own goals always get third (or lower) priority. And as much as I treasure, and I do, the sweet moments of just being with the Rock and the River–I do want to run 10 miles. And if I meet that goal, I can’t help but think that my kids will have a better shot at meeting theirs, this summer, and beyond.

What’s on your–or your kids’–summer lists?

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