Tricia and Megan of 'Stop Being A Loser'

I‘M AN ONLY child. I can’t say I pine for siblings, but I’d be lying if I said I never wished for big-sisterly guidance.

Boys? Men? Jobs? Kids? On all the big things, the wisdom of someone who’s been there, done that, is invaluable. That’s why sister-friends Megan and Tricia started Stop Being A Loser. Sound mean? Nope. Far from it.

Megan and Tricia started Stop Being a Loser (the name comes from something they say to each other, when, you know, one of them is being stupid!) to give real-life advice to girls…advice that wasn’t from “some 45 year old guy, or worse, some expert.” (They have a point here…why do we all listen to Dr. Phil?)  Whether it’s snacks, sex, self-esteem or shopping, Megan and Tricia cover it, inspired by their own little sisters, Jessica and Amy. Their motto? “We mess up so you don’t have to.”

As a bonus, these girls are funny. And if you, like me, are over 40 and wondering what is going on in teen-world, this site is an excellent window. My takeaway: the world may have changed, but the dilemmas of little sisters aren’t all that different than they were back when Walkmans were revolutionary and “texts” were something you read for class.

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MY LATEST SUMMER book find is a winner: a chilling murder mystery with a secret sisterhood of privileged teens at its center. My own path to finding this gem of a thriller was pretty twisted, too.

It all started with a tantalizing article in the New York Times: the writer wrote of her experience of a dream I happen to share, expatriating herself and her family to Bali. (This was actually more my dream when I was young and single: the idea of moving our brood anywhere again is daunting, though not unimaginable.) I read the article, only salivating slightly, then looked at the accompanying photograph, a smiling family of four, the parents grinning in Balinese sarongs, clutching onto cute kids attempting to escape the camera. It could have been any family, including mine. But I looked closer, and read the caption. I knew this family, sort of: I recognized Bacon’s husband as a high school classmate of mine.

My husband will tell you that I can’t cross a street, anywhere in the world, without running into someone I know. This is not true. However, I do have a knack for remembering those whose paths I’ve crossed, and Charlotte Bacon’s husband is one. (For the record, he was, and I presume is, a lovely man and a very talented artist.)

But I learned Charlotte and I have one more connection, however tenuous. In addition to living my Balinese dream, she’s also quite successfully living out another. She’s written four novels (and, it bears mentioning, won the PEN/Faulkner prize for First Fiction for her first publication, a 1997 book of short stories entitled A Private State. Not shabby.) Given that, unusually for me, I have focused on mysteries this summer (witness my ongoing venture into Joan Schenkar’s superb biography of Patricia Highsmith) I opted first for Bacon’s most recent book, The Twisted Thread.

At Armitage Academy, a New England prep school, senior Claire Harkness is found dead in her dorm room. The newborn son she’s just secretly delivered is missing. A young teacher discovers that girls in Claire’s dorm, bound by loyalty to (and perhaps fear of) Claire, not to mention the traditions of a secret society they call the Reign (think the French Revolution’s reign of terror) know more than they’re telling.

I confess that I’m only a third of the way through, but I had to force myself to stop reading last night in order to go to sleep…and this is the book I’m taking to the hammock with me later this afternoon. It’s been compared, rightly, to Donna Tartt’s The Secret History. Yes, the two books share genre (mystery) and setting, schools for privileged kids, but they also share elegant, subtle prose. Whatever web Bacon ultimately weaves in The Twisted Thread, I know it will be surprising and well-drawn. I’ve already got an earlier novel of hers, The Split Estate, waiting on my always-overloaded nightstand.

Keep me posted: what’s your latest pick for this summer’s must-read?

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1. Sisterly Reads: Black and White Dani Shapiro is probably well-known to most regular TSP readers;...

REGULAR READERS KNOW how much I adore my cache of old-time fundraising recipes, affectionately known here as “Ladies Auxilary” cookbooks. I love them for their insight into long-lost appetites and cooking styles, their windows into communities, and sometimes, for the laughs they bring. This essay, “The Famous Recipe” by Floyd Skloot, captures all of that, and more. Do yourself a favor, and read Floyd’s great remembrance of his not-much-of-a-cook mama, and the recipe she could not possibly have created for her temple’s special cookbook.

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1. Cooking with the Ladies’ Auxiliary: Coleslaw Exotic. Different. Coleslaw? So claims one of our beloved Ladies’...

Exotic. Different. Coleslaw? So claims one of our beloved Ladies’ Auxiliary cookbooks about its recipe for “Fruit Slaw”, possibly a perfect side dish for any summer weekend, and especially the upcoming Fourth of July holiday. Are you  planning your cookouts? Our lovely Ladies have lots to offer when it comes to our favorite classic, all-American salad.

That fruit slaw, unusual, I suppose, for the inclusion of apple (which I happen to love in my own coleslaw), grapes and mandarin oranges, comes from a favorite cookbook in my crazy collection: Out of Our League, compiled by the Junior League of Greensboro, North Carolina in 1978.

I also find myself drawn to this gem from Panic in the Pantry, a cookbook created by the Junior Section of the Manor Club, Pelham, New York, in 1975. (What is it with me and the 1970s cookbooks this week? Dunno. I’m having a retro moment…) And who was Mrs. Hart, I wonder, especially since the recipe was contributed by one Diana Beeton.

A 1956 book, the Silver Anniversary International Cookbook from sorority Beta Sigma Phi has multiple slaw options. A classic, above, as well as Old-Fashioned, and for the party people, 24 Hour.

This spiral bound beauty was edited, natch, by not one but two home economists, Betty Delmonico and Viola H. Ward. (No, I did not, could not, make those names up.)

The way I cook best is taking inspiration from the cooking of others, and making it my own. These are two of my favorite, original coleslaw recipe variations, but I want to know: What’s on the menu at your summer cookouts? Old favorites, or new experiments, either way, share ‘em with your sisters. And have a happy, safe 4th of July!

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Dani Shapiro is probably well-known to most regular TSP readers; her latest book, Devotion, inspired a wonderful blog-friendship between her and our very own Sister Margaret. But thanks to a dear friend (who happens to be a guy – who says you have to be female to be sisterly?) I discovered her earlier novel, Black and White, and made it my first beach read of the summer. Do you need a book to tote along? Read on.

Black and White tells the story of Clara Brodeur and her mother, Ruth Dunne, a famed art photographer. Mother and daughter have been estranged for years after Clara rebelled against being her mother’s primary subject, in a series of provocative, controversial nudes that Ruth insisted on creating well into Clara’s adolescence.

It’s Clara’s older sister, Robin, a successful attorney, who summons Clara back to New York from her home in small-town Maine: Ruth is terminally ill. Tbe sisters’ relationship is nearly as fraught as that of mother and daughter, and Clara’s reentry into her family’s world provokes conflict among all three women. I won’t say more, but if you’re looking for a thought-and-emotion-provoking read about the painful limits of love, family and obligation, Black and White is a beautifully written, utterly engaging choice.

I’m now fully on the Dani Shapiro bandwagon, and need to pick my next of her books. What should I dive into next? And what’s at the top of your tote bag? Need more? We’ve got other summer reading suggestions, too!

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FORMER ACTRESS, CURRENT author Meg Tilly (famous since the early 80s – Big Chill, anyone?) is now a blogger. Who’s not, right? OK, but Meg’s blog world includes her own musings, a joint blog with daughter Emily Zinnemann, and Emily’s own shared blog with her non-friend, Sheera. My head’s spinning a bit from the meta of it all, but these women can write, and their views of all manner of sisterly relations are pretty fascinating reading.

The landscape: Meg blogs on her own at her website, Official Meg Tilly. Like many of us, her interests are diverse: memory, motherhood, domesticity, creativity. Her equally famous sister, Jennifer Tilly, actress and sometime professional poker player (how’s that for a combo?) makes occasional appearances. Meg’s voice is genuine, and her writing is thoughtful and provocative. Since retiring from the screen in 1995, Meg has been writing fiction. She’s got two novels for adults and one for young adults to her credit. (I’ve not read them, so onto the beach reading list they go.)

A Canadian resident, Tilly was asked to help launch Huffington Post Canada last month, and is using her gig there to try to convince her adult daughter, Emily Zinnemann, to blog with her about the vagaries of mother-daughter bonds.

Emily is something of an online performance artist herself. In 2009, she launched her Lived By project, wherein a different person would dictate her schedule every week. This experiment led to everything from much-needed dental surgery (mandated by her mother) to a lunch of tripe pho, thanks to foodie friend Andrew Zimmern. The site is no longer live, but some archives and links are still available. After completing a graduate writing program in Michigan, Emily and a fellow student/sometime frenemy, Sheera Talpaz, decided to blog together about why they cannot connect as friends. This Is Why We Can’t Be Friends is written as letters to each other, about their non-friendship, and the other issues they’re wrestling in the strange zone of 20-something life.

Read into Meg’s world a little, and tell me what you think, sisters.

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MAY IS THE month where my garden comes alive, and one of the first things I start cooking is rhubarb. So what better time to take a look back, through our treasured cache of Ladies’ Auxiliary cookbooks, to see how our fore-sisters treated this ruby red delight?

I’m all about rhubarb desserts, because I love sweets that aren’t TOO sweet. For me, rhubarb’s silky, soft texture and assertively tart taste are unbeatable when it comes to pies, cakes and crumbles. My cooking sisters seem to agree.

Take the seven sisters who published their own family cookbook, “Then ‘Til Now”, featuring recipes from all seven, plus their mama. Sister Fran (she’s at 8 o’clock in the picture) contributed the book’s only rhubarb receipt, and it couldn’t be simpler – just one dish! (That’s it up above, at the top of this post.)

The Ladies are, mostly, rhubarb purists; the experimental concoctions we see for other ingredients are in short supply for the ruby red stalks. But then – what’s an auxiliary cookbook journey without a spin in the Jello outboard?

Ok, back on planet “I would actually eat that”, we have simple, classic recipes. Rhubarb custard pie? Perfect, exactly as you’d expect from the members of the New Jersey Garden Club. I especially love that it calls for “a lump of butter”. That, friends, is straight from the days when cooks trusted themselves in the kitchen.

And, of course, the ladies are hip to everyone’s favorite rhubarb cohort, strawberries. Though we won’t have those from the garden for a while, they’re worth waiting for, if you can indulge in a special betty. Though I’d use butter instead of margarine, I can’t quibble with this simple recipe.

The only thing I couldn’t find? To my surprise, not a single one of my sweet cookery books featured a recipe for rhubarb jam or conserve, which sounds awfully appealing to me. Have any of you sisters got one from your own culinary archives to share?

And on another note, be sure to watch for my own take on rhubarb, over at my new gig for OnEarth magazine – a once-a-week look at my gardening (mis)adventures.

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MY KIDS HAVE fewer than four weeks left of school. That means summer, and summer means lots of goodness: balmy weather, barbecue, and best of all, beach reading. True, my beach vacation doesn’t start for a bit, but I’m already starting to pack.

I’m gearing up for a summer of biographies, mostly, as it turns out, of women writers. (Maybe all these lovely writing sisters are having an influence?)

First up (and, I confess, I’ve already started!) is Joan Schenkar’s masterful and inventive life of crime novelist Patricia Highsmith. The Talented Miss Highsmith is a bio unlike any other, appropriate to the prickly, and kind of scary, writer of eerie masterpieces like Strangers on a Train and The Talented Mr. Ripley.

Next up is one that’s been sitting on my shelf all year, Lives Like Loaded Guns by Lyndall Gordon, a controversial recent bio of Emily Dickinson. Who could resist that title? Not me. Last year, Marion said it was her pick for nonfiction book of the summer…well, I’m a little behind. But I’m catching up!

And for something completely different: Bossypants by my wished-for-sister, Tina Fey. Hey, she could become my best friend, right? It could happen. And even if I can’t have her all to myself, at least I can snort til I want to cry reading her sure to be fabulous and funny memoir.

My final pick (so far, anyway)? A surprise, maybe, as it’s about a motley band of tripped-out brothers, not a sister in the bunch. But I’m dying to read The Harvard Psychedelic Club, Don Lattin’s look at the rise of 60s psychedelic culture in the stuffy halls of Cambridge. The dawning of the Age of Aquarius is about as far away from now as anything I can imagine, so I think the beach is the perfect place for a little time travel.

What are your top picks for your beach bag this summer? You’ve already read Margaret’s lovely memoir, right? You’ve perused our massive list of our sister book picks?  Is the stack already teetering on your nightstand? Or are there new releases you’re counting down to? Tell your sisters.

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I BLAME THE royal wedding. Though I was far from obsessed, let’s face it, the news of Kate and Wills was inescapable. Is that why my daughter started bringing home English history tomes from the school library?

In fact, my girl’s fascination with British royalty started last year, when she and her best friend determined to invite the current monarch to a special Valentine’s Day tea. Though that dream is as yet unrealized, my girl, in true fashion, hasn’t given up.

Her latest focus is arguably the British monarchy’s biggest-ever sensation, the king of appetites of all varieties, Henry VIII, his many wives, and most of all, that seductive cipher, Anne Boleyn. We’re in the thick of the story now, as Henry moves earth and heaven to get his way, to divorce Catherine and marry Anne. Both kids are fascinated by the dynamics of power and love at play in this story, even the much-sanitized version we’re reading, which omits, for example, the affair sister Mary Boleyn had with Henry before Anne caught his eye.

Theories abound on Anne–witchcraft! extra digits! deathbed writings!– making me feel that in her day, she must have been the focus of incessant gossip and attention, much like Duchess Catherine of Cambridge now, or Princess Diana before her. And even now, she inspires countless biographies, novels and films. Is it the royalty? The Reformation? Or just then, as now, the idea of a girl capturing the heart of a king?

My girl, meanwhile, likes the idea of lavish jewels heaped upon her, banners flying at jousts, and rides in a carriage drawn by flashy steeds. But the idea of wedding a king, past or future?  She pronounced on the morning of the wedding her definitive take on the matter. “I don’t  want to be a princess. I don’t really care about princesses, except Jasmine. But when are they going to smooch?”

I think my level headed daughter has it right: study the royals, their place in fascinating histories, sure–but cast your ambitions elsewhere.

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NEED A LAST minute gift for a sister or mother this weekend? Look, or should I say, listen, no further: we’ve got a new release from one of music’s great mamas…and her equally mesmerizing sister.

Kate McGarrigle and her sister Anna were one of the 1970s great folk acts, known for their cult records Kate & Anna McGarrigle and Dancer With Bruised Knees, not to mention Kate’s progeny, singers Martha and Rufus Wainwright. Kate died in 2010, but this week, a compilation of the sisters’ work, Tell My Sister, has been released. It’s got everything, whether for a rabid fan or a curious newcomer…and it’s a perfect gift for your mama. Or your sister. Listen up, and enjoy.

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